Outtakes

A couple months ago, I did something I've been wanting to do for a looonnngg time. I bought a DSLR camera.

I got a great deal on a mint condition Canon camera on Craigslist, but it didn't come with a lens. So my stepdad, being the awesome guy that he is, agreed to let me borrow his 50 mm lens... the one my mom got him last year for Christmas. The one that cost an arm and a leg. The one he barely even got to use before he happily handed it over to me. Yeah... THAT one.

Armed with my very own camera and a kick ass lens, I've been having a blast taking pictures and trying out different things. I learned very quickly that light means everything in photography, and that turning the flash on is the quickest way to ruin pictures. My house is naturally dark, so it's been a challenge.

That being said, I've taken A LOT of pictures in the past two months. But very few make it onto this blog, for many reasons. Maybe a picture is really cool but it's just too blurry, or doesn't fit with whatever I'm trying to say. Maybe it's framed all wrong or the colors are just awful.

There are a lot of reasons that pictures don't make the cut for me, but nonetheless, when I browse through my memory card, I don't necessarily notice all the imperfections.

What I DO notice is that these blurry, crooked, poorly lit photos are filled with the faces of my family and friends, of the people I love the most in the world.

And they tell a story -- a happy one -- that I will likely need to hold on to tightly someday, like when my kids leave for college and I miss them so much I'm liable to do something crazy like drive all night just to see their faces. These photos may very well be the only things that save my kids from the utter mortification of having their mom show up at the door of their 8 a.m. philosophy class.

In other words: these photos are important.

So I've decided to dedicate a post specifically to the pictures that didn't quite make the cut, but that still have enough magic in them to make the corners of my mouth turn up.

Enjoy.


Magic


Our Husbands


Dog Earrings


Late-Night Baking


Holiday Traditions


Secret Softie


The Money Shot


Delirious Joy


Older Brother


Cookie Monster Balloon


The Family I Chose


Coolest Kid Ever


Grandpa's Present


New Friends


Since the Womb


The Men


Real

And with that I am ending this fabulous year.

I can't believe I've been doing this blog thing for nearly two years now. A lot has changed but the players are still -- thankfully -- the same. I am especially grateful this New Year's to have my circle intact and whole, which is more than many of my wonderful friends can say. So many of my friends and family lost loved ones this year, and it breaks my heart to see them trying to pick up the pieces, and renegotiate their realities. I am reminded to appreciate every day I get to spend with my people.

As for a resolution: I made mine months ago, as I sat at the funeral of a close family friend and realized that life's too short to hold grudges, or be prideful. I promised myself, then and there, to patch things up -- before the year ended -- with someone who I've spent years butting heads with, and I'm thankful to say that I did just that, a couple weeks ago.

I am more than happy -- I am free from the burden of anger. Which, I think, is a great way to start a new year.

Happy New Year to all :)

Conversation of the Day:
Noah: "I don't think I want to be an Army guy when I grow up anymore..."
Erik: "Oh? Well then what do you want to be?"
Noah: "I think I might want to be a magazine editor, like Mommy... "

And then it was all worth it...

Post Christmas

Me: "Eva? E-bear! Mamas!? Eva, can you smile for Mommy? Please? Pretty please?? Real quick, mama, can you look over? Eva? Just one quick smile. No??? Okay, fine, I'm leaving ................. just kidding, I'm still here. C'mon, mamas, please? Just look over for a second ... please?!"



Me: "Ohh-kayy... you don't have to smile for me. {sigh!} Maybe next ti-.... oh my gosh, Eva look! Mommy's butt is on FIRE!"



Me: "I'm serious! It's on fire! I think it might even FALL OFF!"



Me: "Ahhh! It DID!! It DID fall off! Oh my gosh, my butt is gone... it just fell right off!"



Desperate times, people, desperate times...

***

Christmas this year was all kinds of lovely.

My parents showed up on Christmas Eve with a new bike for Noah, complete with a fluffy red bow.



He rode it around our street, circling and waving and smiling... until he realized he was too short to reach the ground and had no way of getting off. Then he bailed.



And yeah, I seriously took a picture of his I-just-jumped-off-my-bike-and-I'm-bummed face. Because I'm awesome. Mother of the Year for SURE.



***

Would you believe that these are the only pictures I took all weekend?

Because sometimes it's easier to enjoy life when you're not behind the lens of a camera. Much as I want to share all the amazing moments -- the happy looks on the faces of my family, the prime rib (roast beast?) that I somehow manage not to overcook every year, even the Christmas afternoon run to Carl's Jr, where we listened on the radio as the Lakers LOST -- other than in my brain, I have no record of these moments.

Suffice to say that our quiet Christmas at home was every bit as great as I imagined it would be.

***

The New Year is fast approaching, and with it comes some reflection.

Sometime around mid-January marks the 8-year anniversary of the day I met Erik (8 years is just a short jump to 10 years, which is pretty legit, right?!).

Eight years ago I met Erik, a few days after his 30th birthday, and at the risk of sounding totally corny here, I'm still pretty excited to be sharing my life with this guy.



We are starting to throw around ideas for our annual weekend away, just the two of us, to celebrate Erik's birthday in a couple weeks. We dream of sleeping in until at least 8 a.m. and a nice dinner that does not include french fries or milk.

But who are we kidding? Our eyes will automatically pop open at 6, and we will spend dinner staring at other people's kids, and missing our own. Lame? Maybe. But there's no one else I'd rather be a lame adult with.

I hope everyone had a FUN Christmas :)


Picture of the Day:

Birthday Milkshakes

There are about 7,000 presents sitting in my room, waiting to be wrapped, so this is going to be short.

Today marks the two-year anniversary of the day I met my daughter.

My daughter -- sometimes I still can't believe I have a daughter.

I have always -- always -- known that I wanted to be the mother of a little girl.

I was the kind of angst-riddled teenager that kept a steady diary -- pages and pages that recorded every little mundane happening, or crisis, or injustice. And for many years, I made a mental note that someday I would give my diaries to my daughter, so that she would know that I understood her.

I imagined that she would be like me -- that she would be a tortured pile of emotions -- and that I would make up for all the times my mom didn't get where I was coming from, by being the kind of mom who listened, and empathized, and kept it real.

Whether or not I can actually be the cool mom I always dreamed I'd be (this seems highly unlikely), or whether -- like my mom -- I will ground Eva for all of junior high, remains to be seen. (For the record: I totally deserved it.)

What I do know is that THIS little girl -- the one I actually have -- is way better than the one I spent my life imagining.

We celebrated her tonight at a burger joint near our house, where we slurped milkshakes and played video games.





And even though it wasn't fancy, and even though it was just the four of us (plus Eva's godfather), and even though I have a million plus one things to do in the next 24 hours, and even though Erik's patience is being stretched thin after having been stuck at home with the kids all week ... we still had a great time.

Because you know what? Birthday milkshakes are the best milkshakes.



Happy Birthday Eva Elise ... you really do make me happy when skies are gray.

Eva's Birthday from Chelsie Perez on Vimeo.

A friend of mine from highschool was kind enough to put together this photo slideshow for me. And for all you class of 2001 peeps, I know it looks familiar ;)

Merry Christmas to all :)

Milk & Cookies

This past Saturday we celebrated our little girl's second year with a milk and cookies birthday party.



This was actually Eva's first birthday party ever, because we didn't have one for her last year.

And I'd love to say it was because our house flooded (it did) or because our lives were so insanely hectic (they were), but in reality I just kind of dropped the birthday ball last year.

So maybe, I had something to prove.



In any case, the party was, in my very humble opinion, perfect.



I joked with my best friend Jenny the other day, saying "They ask 'How does she do it all?' and I answer 'She doesn't SLEEP.'"

And, it's true, planning a party this ridiculous takes a lot of work, and a few late nights.

But that's not the whole truth.

The whole truth is that I could never pull off the awesome stuff I do without the awesome people who love me enough to lose a few hours of sleep themselves.

I have, in my arsenal, some of the best friends in the whole wide world -- including my sister -- who stay up 'til all hours baking cookies...


Courtesy of my girl Tricia -- these cookies are so good they should be illegal

...or piping frosting onto cupcakes...


Courtesy of Eva's godmomma Jenny -- could these cupcakes be any prettier??

Eva also has grandparents that make Costco runs, and search high and low for the perfect cookies. She has a Nino who shows up early, and stays late, and brings the ice.

My circle is tight, and ironclad, and I am lucky.



Thanks Team...

And now, because I-just-got-through-planning-an-insane-party-right-before-Christmas-and-I'm-tired-yo, I'm going to stop writing and just post pics.

That's cool, right?


Whoopie Pies


Cookies...


Milk...


Kids


Cousins...


Friends...


Family...


My friend Andrea's baby, who I kinda want to steal...



Eva at the end of the day. She's DONE.

And me? I'm done too. I'm relieved that we'll be spending a quiet Christmas at home.

But with the New Year, comes new (and wonderful) tidings. I am so happy and proud to announce that I have been made the editor of 5 publications at Stampington & Company, including GreenCraft magazine, which can be found here.

I have a lot of ideas for all of the magazines, and I can't wait to get started.

Five years ago, I told Erik the world was passing me by. I really thought that being a young mom, and having a career that fulfilled me, were mutually exclusive. I started to believe the college professor who told me -- after I told him I was pregnant -- that it was a pity, because I could've been something great.

Today, I am where I never thought I'd be, and I'm looking forward to proving that professor wrong.

Happiest of Holidays, to all.

Conversation of the Day:
Me: "Did you have fun at the Lego store today?"
Noah: "Yeah. Mom, guess how much the Lego Death Star costs?"
Me: "How much?"
Noah: "Four HUNDRED dollars!!! That's a lot, right?!?! I mean, that's wayyyy too much for me to spend. Maybe if it was, like, twelve dollars. Maybe then I'd buy it."

Sentimental Musings and Other Nonsense

Three and a half years ago, I was strolling through the grocery store, on my weekly run, and I instinctively started to turn my cart down the baby aisle. Then I stopped dead in my tracks: I had nothing to buy in the baby aisle.

My brain knew this before my heart did, and that's what kept my feet from moving, but as I stood there I searched for a reason -- any reason -- to peruse the shelves in the baby aisle. Surely there was a juice cup, or a box of crackers, that I could throw in my cart?

I poked and prodded every corner of my mommy brain before I started crying -- right there, in the middle of the grocery store.

Plenty of people told me to enjoy those precious years, when your babies really are babies, because it goes so fast.

And I heard those people, but I didn't really hear them, because I was too busy wiping peanut butter off the furniture, or vacuuming cheerios out of the car, or chasing around one very rambunctious little boy whose favorite thing to do was push me to the absolute brink of exhaustion.



So yeah, I found myself, after three very short years, standing next to a row of Pampers, cursing father time.

But before I could make a genuine scene, a small thought pushed its way through the fog of self-pity: I wasn't done yet. I would one day have another baby (just one more!) and I would get another chance to enjoy, and cherish. I clung to that thought with everything I had, wiped my tears, and moved on to the next aisle.

Fast forward to now, and I have no such comfort to cling to.

Yesterday we dismantled the last baby crib, and put it in storage. A big girl bed (that used to be a big BOY bed) took its place, and we accepted the inevitable: our baby days are fast coming to a close.



And, yes, a couple of tears were shed. But mostly we celebrated -- our girl is BIG. The past couple months have brought with them an explosion of words, an adamant refusal to wear certain clothes or eat certain foods, and -- you guessed it -- a tendency to bust out of her crib, sometimes in the middle of the night.

So what does the master jail-breaker think of her new bed? She loves it.



Incidentally, ten minutes after laying Eva down for her very first nap in her big girl bed, I jumped in the shower, mentally patting myself on the back for the crib-to-bed transfer success.

No sooner had I done this than I heard the door of the bathroom creak open. I called out "Hello?"

No answer.

I called out "Who's there?"

Still no answer.

It occurred to me that this is how horror movies get made.

Finally I gathered enough courage to peek around the shower curtain, and caught sight of a devious smile, half hidden behind the bathroom door.



I believe that is what the kids these days call a FAIL.

***

In other Rangno House news, the Universe decided to deliver my Christmas gift early this year.



Apparently, Eva is not the only girl growing up around our house. Our chickens have started laying and this makes me furiously happy.

I confess: I had, perhaps, a romanticized idea in my head about what it would be like to own chickens. Six months, two dead birds, and mountains of chicken poop later... that's gone.

I have two chickens left and I was about ready to find them a better home. They must've known they were on the outs, because no sooner had I decided to do this than I opened their nesting box and found an egg, tucked into a corner.

Noah and I were stoked.



I used our very first egg to make a turkey lasagna, and it was goooood.

***

We had another weekend filled with Christmas-y goodness, including a trip to Candy Cane Lane.



This is a street that my friend Bacon used to live on (yes, I call her Bacon. It's, you know, a thing). She told me about it last year, so I took the kids and we had a blast.

This year I:

1) Invited my sister and parents to come along. But first we ate turkey lasagana.

2) Blinged out our wagon. Because Candy Cane Lane extended the challenge, and I accepted, yo.





We had a lot of fun. I love my family.



***

And, finally, to close out this post, allow me one more sentimental musing.

I love the way he looks at her.



And I love the way they love each other.



It does go fast -- way, way too fast. But we are enjoying the ride.

Happy Monday to all! Stay dry :)

Conversation of the Day:

My sister's niece, Laci, accompanied us to Candy Cane Lane on Saturday. Noah was kinda being a turd to her. Then she threatened to tell his Elf on a Shelf, Box Bear.

Laci: "If you don't be nice, I'm going to tell your elf, and he's going to tell Santa."
Noah: "You better not! Box Bear, don't listen to her!!"
Laci: "Box Bear, you tell Santa that Noah's not being nice to me, okay?"
Noah:" Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Oh the despair...